I can’t say I’ve truly been healthy since I’ve been married. As soon as one problem was under control, another problem showed up. And my amazing husband really has stuck by me through thick or thin these last 5 years. I finally started doing better around a year ago, and TK said “It’s so good to have my wife back.” I was so consumed with my own health problems that I didn’t see how much it was affecting him and our marriage. I’m finally taking control of my health and feel ready to be the best wife that I can be, the woman my husband should have. I love him enough to give him my best.
So I’ve been thinking: What kind of wife do I want to be? What kind of wife am I now, and what parts of that role are the most important to me?
1. Respectful – Not degrading or patronizing, especially in front of others. After reading part of a marriage book, I asked my husband if he’d rather be told “I love you” or “I respect you.” He said respect. The book said most men will answer that way. News to me…
2. Supportive – We watched John Q. recently. IMDB summarizes it as “A down-on-his luck father (Denzel Washington), whose insurance won't cover his son's heart transplant, takes the hospital's emergency room hostage until the doctors agree to perform the operation.” While he holds them hostage, the police negotiator talks to John Q.’s wife, but she refuses to help. She says she is on her husband’s side, not the negotiator’s, and will always be on his side. She refused to be used against her husband. She said it much better than I can summarize it, but I really liked her response.
3. A helpmate – (Genesis 2:18) I want to help my husband achieve his goals and dreams. Being a helpmate also involves helping out with household chores. It's my least favorite part, but an important one for our sanity and marriage.
4. A lover – Need I say more on this one?
5. Nurturing – Preparing nourishing meals for our small family and, if we have any, raising kind-hearted, God-fearing children
6. Intriguing – Keeping the marriage interesting and keeping my husband interested in me through occasional spontaneity, thoughtful conversations, and making an effort to spend quality time together (which is one reason we don’t have satellite, cable, or Netflix).
7. An equal in decision-making, but with TK as the spiritual head of the household. Biblically, he is to be the head of our home, but that doesn’t give him the right to ever “put his foot down” or make a decision with the reason “because I said so.” I’m not going to stand behind him with my head down but will walk beside him, united in whatever we do and wherever we go.
If you’re married, are you where you want to be in your role as wife?